Gears of War: Revolution
by DevilMayDante
Summary: (Name) has been through alot over the years, but this might be her biggest adventure yet! Only problem, she's mistaken for someone different and end up as a Gear to fight a War long thought to be over with... (Reader X Damon Baird) (Reader Insert)
1. Act 1-Ch1: Beginings of War

_Footsteps echoed down the barren street as soft breathing filled the soundless air, her (H/C) hair whipping behind her as she was missing her necklace. It was a stupid idea to go ahead to an infested Locus nest, a really bad and stupid idea and she's regretting it so muh._

_"I'm so sorry..." She whispered, pumping her legs faster as she ran out of ammunition, "I'm sorry for all the things I said and the stupid argument we got into..."_

_She jumped over a barrier and ran even harder but the massive Locus was still on your tail, getting closer and closer while she tripped and sprained her ankle badly. A pained yelp echoed in the air as she fumbled some to regain herself but it none the less didn't work, a silent tear shed from her (E/C) orbs as a spear-like thing came crashing downwards in slow motion and she closed her eyes._

**_"I guess what I'm trying to say is that... I friggin' love you..."_**

**::504 Hours Earlier::**

The Raven landed on it's landing pad, fresh rookies came out of the chopper and so did a lone female of the whole group. She pushed up her goggles and adjusted her armor, letting out a small sigh as she growled some; she was mistaken as a boy when she enlisted to be in Gears and so her attire is built to fit a guy, but since she much more slender they gave her a smaller size.

"Fucking asshole..." She growled lowly, shifting her shoulder bag and gun as she made her way forward. She grumbled under her breath a few long lines of cursewords not fit for a proper lady, "When I find the bitch who put me under as a male, I'm kicking their ass to hell. Then drag them back from the dead only to shoot them in the fucking foot!"

"(Name) (L/Name)?" A voice questioned from behind, causing the said female to whip around and look at the said person; She had Ginger hair and a few freckles across her cheeks, she raised an eyebrow at him, "It's me, Christian!"

"Holy shit..." She spoke aloud, almost dropping her to hug the said woman, "Chris! What are you doing here?"

"I work here as a doctor, what are you doing here?"

"Mistake in human identity..."  
Christian gave her a confused look, (Name) let out a sigh and explained the whole situation to her and the Ginger facepalmed at the story. (Name) raised an eyebrow at her anticts, Christian held up her hand and regained her composure, "(Name), we're going to need to fix this before it's too late..."

"What do you mean by-"

"Here's the man that's on Delta's team~" A new voice said, Christian facepalmed as arms wrapped around (Name) shoulders, "Looking good today, Chrisy!"

"Hey Dan, how's your arm?"

"Better now since you fixed it." He winked, causing (Name) to snicker some and imeditly stop when Christian gave her a silent but deadly glance. Dan released (Name) and ventured off to find his friends, she was smacked upside the head by Christian with her clipboard.

"Ow~ That really hurt..." (Name) said with a sacrcastic voice, smacked upside the head even harder and she hissed, "Okay, okay! I get it... Sheesh, you never changed."

"Oh shut up." Christian smiled, leading you towards the Delta team, "Anyway, how's your brother?"

(Name) stopped in her tracks, Christian looked back at her as she groaned, "Fuuuck, I was suppost to let him know that I'm alright... Damn it, memory!"  
Christian chuckled and patted (Name)'s shoulder, "Dont worry! I've already told him as soon as you landed!"

(Name) let out a relieved sigh, following Christian onwards towards the barracks. She told her to wait outside and (Name) did exactly as she was told, best do what's right and do it without a second thought.

**-Inside the Barracks-**

"Baird!" Christian called out to the blond "genius" who's in the barrack, said man spun around in his chair to look at the girl, "What the hell are you working on?"

"Code cracking, duh." He said while swirving back around to find his keyboard gone, "When the fuck-?!"

"-And... Done~!" (Name) said as she hit the last key, files began to open up and Baird blinked at the said woman. She waved to him just as the rest of the crew came in, they looked at Baird for an answer and he was just as confused as they are, "Score one Rookie, Zero rest of the team!"

Christian facepalmed and smacked (Name) upside the head, scolding her for making a bad first impression.


	2. Act 1-Ch2: Trials by Kills

_"_Hows it looking, Rookie?" (Name) heard Baird question over the intercom-headset, she flinched some at the volume but that passed by really quick; she was looking out through her snipped scope to find any near by Locus, though Baird puts it as "Target Pratice from a Distance" and she rolled her eyes at that.

"From what I could tell, there isn't shit to shoot." She said back, shifting her scope-clad snipped rife abit to the right and noticed some activity, "But then again... There might be..."

Not to far away from the whole group was alot of Locus doing something, (Name) grinned at the treasure chest full of stuff to shoot. She got up and jumped down a few stones and boulders, landing with a grunt and ran back to the group swiftly, "Okay there's activity alright and it's, put it to terms even a kid could understand, a whole pool full of grubs."

"That much?" Cole questioned, she noded her head, "Well shit, thag can't be good."

"No kidding." Said the girl who's name (Name) somehow always forget, so she just calls her violet as a nickname and hidden inside joke between her. (Name) shrugged her shoulders before an annoying stalk appeared, she groaned out of a long curseword and whipped out her Lancer before recking havoc on the Locus that appeared as did everyone else.

"98... 99... 100 kills total!" She said estacticly, adding the 25 kills she did to her previous number of 75. Once the wave was delt with and the small nest eraticated, (Name) did a super small victory dance when no one was looking and stopped when someone glanced back, "You saw nothing..."

"Whatever you say, rookie~"

(Name) twitched alittle at her nickname, fighting back the urge to just smack the "Genius" upside the head with the butt of her Lancer. She fought back and looked back at Cole for approval of smacking him upside the head, he raised an eyebrow and (Name) took acception to that. There was a small yelp of pain and a very content (H/C) woman who walked on ahead, Baird growled but couldn't remove his gaze from what he calls "The Perfect Ass" and just smirked alittle.

Carmine smacked Baird upside the head and he growled, "Why are you such the cockblocker?"

"Because she's like a sister to me, duh." He stated, walking on ahead as (Name) chatted aimlessly with him. Cole shook his head and walked on ahead, ruffling up her hair as she pouted alittle but held a big grin on her face. Suddently there was a gruff voice and a explosion behind everyone, causing (Name) to let out a small squeak and everyone dive for cover; There where several Boomers and Diggers so (Name) got into a prime snipping spot and took aim.

Shots against another wave of Locus raged on below (Name) as she snipped a Digger in the head for instant killing, unaware of the Boomer locking onto her and gruffing out "Boom" before firing. There was an Oil tank below her so when she jumped out of harms way, the explosion sent her flying and rolling over a clift edge. She grabbed onto the ledge but her body slammed against the side, a dull pain hits her as her armor protected her.

"Thats going to leave a mark..." She complained, pulling herself up halfway up before she lost her footing and began to slide back some. She hissed lowly before crawling back up again and laid in her back, "Fucking... Explosion..."

"Rookie! Are you alright?" Asked a very concerned Detla team, (Name) waved them off abit before hissing in complete pain. Cole helped her up, seeing how she winced alittle on her left side and clutched it when the medic of the group touched her side.

"Its just a small bruise!" (Name) lied through a fake smile, fighting back the painful tears that wanted to escape with all the force she could muster, "It ought to heal in no time! So let's just continue onwards to that building for more supplies, Kay?"

If only they knew how much her side was injuring her...


	3. Act 1-Ch3: Polyps and Lambents

The Raven landed peacefully on the ground, having already left the large ship named Sovereign. (Name) looked around cautiously, only to have her back slapped by Cole and hear his laughter. She glared alittle at Cole, he held up his hands in defense.

"Welcome to my home town of Hanover, cougar territory!" Cole said, (Name) rolled her eyes at the introduction but none the less smirked. (Name) decided to do something completely out of charater, she meowed like a cat and everybody turned to look at her; she swore she saw some pink on Baird and Cole's face, more Baird than anything else.

"I heard cougar so it seemed fitting enough..." She admitted, Carmine face-er-maskpalmed at her anticts and Sam patted her on the shoulder but walked on, "What? I'm seri- Hey, don't leave me!"

(Name) ran up to catch up with the advancing squad, having been left behind by everyone and she had to jog to keep up. The small robot she built out of scraps followed behind closely, using it stealth mode and following silently.

"Um, Sam?" (Name) questioned, she saw the nerviousness in her eyes, "Are you nervious?"

"Not really, but don't let it get to ya Rookie." Sam spoke, smiling when (Name) twitched at the nickname she was dubbed with.

(Name) looked forward with rolled eyes and nearly had her heart stop, there where alot of corpses at the stationed outpost and the causes definetly did not look of normal causes, "Holy shit man, talk about overkill."

"You got that right." Carmine agreed, Cole suggested that they find a different outpost and everyone agreed. (Name) lagged behind a bit, looking at the inactively dead Lambent stalks on buildings and instively shuddered, remembering the stories she was told about how theese things spewed out lambent grubs and polyps until their sacks where shot; it took her a total of three weeks to get the thoughs out of her head and an extra week just for the nightmares to stop.

"-Are you even listening?!" Baird questioned, bringing her out of her daze with a small "huh?" and Baird nearly facepalming, "Geeze, give us a warning next time!"

"Like what, want me to say "lossing touch with reality, be back at the crack of dawn?" every time I begin to go into a daze?!"

"Yes, that would very helpful."

"Shut up Baird."

"Only if you would do me the honors~"

Cole chuckled, "Someone's getting feisty, huh (Name)."

(Name) gave a heafity glare to Cole, he held up his hands in surrender but the smile on his face never vanished. She held up her fist to him and shook it, he just laughed at her anticts while she gave up on trying to threaten him. Baird snuck up behind her and smack her ass once again, rewarded with that lovely squeaking sound of hers as her face went alittle red.

**:Second POV:**

You turned around to face the blond genius, only to be rewarded with open air as you shivered and ran to catch up with everyone. You held your arms up like everyone else and walked towards the light.

"Whoa! Easy there, we just want to trade!" Cole said as the spotlight flicked off.

A man stood atop with the spotlight, "We've got nothing to trade with you COG assholes..."

The man examined over you and Sam, his eyes lingering on you longer than Baired appriciated but he wouldn't voice it aloud for now, "Though, I'll give you a slice of bacon for thoose two..."

"And I'll give you a slice of my fist in your face, you sick asshole..." You snapped back, the guy whistled at your feistness and Baird twitched with annoyance; what he would do to snipe the man in the face right now.

"Thanks, but no thanks. Know any other outpost we can go to?" Cole interjected, seeing-no-basicly feeling the discomfort comming off of Baird when the guy looked at you lewdly.

"Yeah, there's two. One by the stadium and the other by the warehouse down at the peir." The guy said, pointing in the direction. He started laughing when you flicked the birdie at him and Baird rolled his eyes, you trotted up ahead to Cole and Sam.

**:Third POV:**

(Name) vented out some annoyance by a means of very colorful choice of words that could put any salior to shame in an instant, though she doesn't curse alot or at least tries not to; Baird finds it adorable that (Name) tries not to curse and amusing when she fails at it.

The walk was uneventful save for a few surprise attacks and poking fun at a few fun, especially at the playground "Hey Baird, why don't you hop on and I'll give you a push!"

"Eh, no thanks..."

"I'm agreeing with Baird, he's too heavy to push. He'll break it under all the extra weight." (Name) chimmed in, Baird threw a glare in her direction.

"Oh really? Why don't you get on then, Rookie?"

"Because, I don't feel like having my ass be a sitting duck for Lambent OR Grubs!"

"Dont worry, I'll save your ass if needed~"

"Baird, your three seconds away from having a bullet lodge within your crotch." (Name) warned, poking him in the chest, "Point. Blank. Range."

The ground rumbled and Baird pulled (Name) to safety and out of the way of a flying spinner-thingy some of those playgrounds have, her cheecks alittle. She turned off the saftey and everyone went for cover, she cringed at how the Lambent Stalk spewed out a glowie onto the ground.

"Well, Marry Christmas to me..." She joked, knowing full and well it's not even close to Christmas yet, "And I hate my gift!"

(Name) began to shoot at the Lambent before aiming at the Stalks' visible pod, having been unaware of one in pouncing range. She unkowingly ducked and advoided beging sacked, shooting it point blank and having all the glowie blood splattered onto her face and body.

"Thats just NASTY!" She hissed, marching along once the wave was delt with and destroyed a few more and headed to the grocery store. Baird and Cole held up the wire, "Thank you very much!"

"Anytime." Both Cole and Baird said, both looking at one another like what-the-fuck and exited the same time. The parking lot looked clear so Carmine and (Name) went up ahead, Carmine pulled (Name) back in time of Cole's warning.

"Holy shit!" Was all (Name) could say, shocked about her near death before letting loose on some glowies and stalks before proceeding towards the store and entered, "Ever get that feeling that shit is about to happen?"

"Yeah... It just did." Sam said, pointing up towards the roof, "Okay Baird, now we have polyps! Happy?"

"Yeah, estatic!" He said sarcasticly, everybody made their way over and a Stalk appeared.

The polyps came down and the Drudges appeared, (Name) groaned loudly with discontent and shot a polyp that jumped at her. It was like so for a few moments and repeat. She found amusement in stomping on the Lambents, having making her way to a locked door, "Hey! I found a door, but it's locked..."

And idea came to mind and she grinned, reving up her lancer just as everyone else came over and she sliced the lock, "Bitch can't hold ms back, what!"

"Ha-ha! You got spunk, (Name)!" Cole commented, patting her on the back as she jogged ahead and kicked open the door. She trotted back some and broke into a sprint, jumping up onto the locker and jumped down, "(Name)? Where did you go-"

"Im on the other side of this locker!" She called out, "And I found food that looks edible!"

Carmine jumped in, "How the fuck did you-"

"Gymnastics! I had no choice, my mom made me do so. Thinking it might help with me acting more girly and proper..."

Everyone dropped the subject once Cole got a loader, kicking away the heavy locker as (Name) leaned against the food crate. She got up once Cole came over and picked it up, having already been inside the machine, before kicking open the wrong door, "Whoopse..."

"Try the OTHER door, Cole..." (Name) pointed out, thumbing over to it before he kicked it open. She peaked her head out and everyone got into a battle against the Lambent, the things where taken care of twice and the food was delievered to saftey. (Name) let out a small whoop, feeling much better about the food being delievered to saftey, "When we get back to the ship, I'm having some dry cereal and no one is stopping me from it!"

"C'mon (Name), you know the drill..." Cole reminded, (Name) groaned but got up and followed the rest of the group.

"Look for stranded and blah, blah, blah..." She said without amusement, picking up a longshot snipped rifle and taking it's ammunition as her own, "While slaughtering the lovely glowies and harvesting their internal organs! Just so we can sell them on the black market~"

Then she let out a saddened sigh, "Oh wait, they explode so that's out of the picture!"

-A few moments later-

"I fucking hate Gunkers!" (Name) growled out of pure annoyance, kicking it's guts like a soccer ball and made her way over to the rest of the group.

Carmine was snipped and survived thanks to his helmate, "Jeeze louise, what the fuck!"

"Hey, check fire! We're on your side!" Sam said before (Name) chimmed in.

"And your aim was slightly off! Try to aim for the center of the head or their hearts!"

Sam smacked her upside the head, she groaned but none the less and rubbed the back of her head. Cole shook his head while Baird facepalmed, everyone headed inside and (Name) let out a long sigh of content. She went up to the sniper and gave him some pointers before being dragged off by her team, the guy waved nerviously at her and she waved back with a small salute, "Anything of use, ma'am?"

"Yeah, we got you some ammunition!" She said, (Name) stopped in her tracks and held a wide grin, "S'mthing the matter?"

"I don't know either to hug you or act like I just won the lottary."

::Post Ammunition Gain::

"Thanks for the ammunition!" (Name) said to the woman, she waved and went back inside. The back gates opened up and the crew left, only to be smacked in the face with more glowies and stalks. They where delt with and eraticated, leaving only the stadium in their wake and a very proud player to lead.

"Holy grounds ahead, people!"

(Name) rolled her eyes at Cole, having slid up ahead and examine the lock on it before smacking her face against her hand, "Locked up and unwilling to open..."

And then there where the infamious Stalks, the infamious freaking stalks.

"OH C'MON DAMN IT!" (Name) snapped at the Stalks, "GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK, IM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES POPPING UP EVERYWHERE!"

"(Name), I love you but seriously, there stalks! They pop up everywhere!"

(Name) stopped her angered ranting and just looked at Baird, "Did you just-"

"No, I didn't. Now shut up and shoot theese assholes." Baird cuts in, shooting a near by glowie as it closed in on everybody. (Name) growled, annoyed that Baird played with her heart like that and got her hopes up like that.

"When this is over, your lossing a sac Baird!" (Name) hissed at the male, only to loose her drive to kill the blond when he kissed her cheeck and resumed killing. Sam smirked at the action Baird took from a glance out of the corner of her eye, shooting one in the head before a Gunker appeared.

"Gunker!"

And the long nightmare continues, but it might not be so bad as (Name) originally thought...


	4. Act 1-Ch4: Lambent Leviathan

(Name) slammed the gate doors behind her with a heave and let out a relieved sigh, looking behind her to see the squad up ahead and she hurried to catch up, trotting nerviously behind until she came to a complete stop and missed what Sam said, "This place is friggin' massive... And the statue is silver!"

"Yeah, the bums didn't even melt down his statue for scraps! Now that's respect..." Baird spoke aloud, rolling his eyes when there was a call about the Lambent, "And we're back to work, again!"

(Name)'s eyebrow twitched with annoyance, she turned off the saftey and reved up the chainsaw, "Wonderful, more stuff to kill..."

Cole split everyone into two teams, (Name) was sent upwards with himself and Carmine. She shot some sneaky glowies and proceded onwards, ducking down in time to miss being decapitated and shot the poor glowie monster. She peaked over and blinked, eyes going wide, "Gunker and incomming glowies!"

"Thats my line!"

"Shut up and shoot it Baird! No time to act like a blond diva!"

(Name) jumped down from the high grounds, stomping onto the gunkers head and pushed off with agility. While airborn, shots rang past her as everything seemed to be going in slow motion like a dream and then it all came crashing down to reality when the Gunker exploded and sent her flying into some boxes. Everyone crowed around to see if she's alright, "(Name)! Are you alright?!"

"That... Was... Epic!" (Name) shouted as she sprung up from her bizzare trap, hair and goggles disheveled as she blew a strand out of her face. She accepted Sam's hand to pull her out and was freed, the big smile never left her face as they walked through double doors to the player room. She resisted the urge to clamp her noes shut and just browsed around, "Things do last... The smell included on the long list..."

(Name) was dragged to the side by Carmine, a small yelp left her lips as she watched from the sidelines. She shook her head at Cole and facepalmed, "Wait for it... Wait for it..."

Cole planted the bomb, "Touuuuucccchhhhhdooooowwwwnnnn Cougars! The winning point scored by none other than the Cooolllleeee Traaaiiiinnnnn! Now get out of-"

Then the bomb exploded and Cole went flying by a few feet, "-Nevermind..."

Everybody ran over to Cole, Sam shook her head, "You alright, Cole?"

"Ha. The Cole train still got the moves!"

(Name) shook her head, "If you don't count the neon firework shit, sure! It's a Six point gain with the wonderful feild goal kick!"

"Now your talking, (Name)!" Cole said once he got up off the ground, Baird patted her on the back alittle too hard and she stumbled forward alittle, "Thats the move I used against the Eagles in the final game, though shit didn't go exploding in your face!"

"Speaking of birds, we gotta fly on up to the mothers' nest!" (Name) said, thumbing behind her to signal that they should really get out of there before more Stalks appear and spoil the victory. They left imeditly, only to be bombarded with a distress call from Sovereign.

"Oh, Damn it! Well, (Name) there goes our dinner plan..." Carmine joked, knowing full and well just to mess with Baird and make (Name) blush; two points for him now. (Name) plotted some revenge while keeping on the move, letting out a stressed sigh.

The door was lifted up and they entered, (Name) peaked outside the window, "Well, smack Carmine' ass and call Baird sexy..."

Both said men looked at you, pink dusted their cheecks but no one could really look at Carmine's face anyway before Sam cuts in, "Well, nice while it lasted!"

Baird looked out the said window, "Ah, shit!"

"Hey! This is all your fault! Those things left us alone until the COG showed up!" A woman with a winter hat on said with venom in her voice, (Name) growled out in annoyance and irritation.

Cole spoke up, "Ma'am our ship is in trouble, and we need to get back fast. You got any transport we can borrow?"

"Oh—! Here's the keys to my luxury yacht!-" The woman started, giving Cole the middle finger before (Name) scoffed at the woman.

"Damn, that yacht must be a piece of shit if your owning it." (Name) said alittle too loud on purpose, everyone looked at her like she was insane, "I feel bad it's being driven by an ass like you, not like you can even drive it without having to bitch about it."

The woman walked up to (Name), unaware of the said female growling under her breathe, "What did you-"

"Focus your skinny ass on evacuating your crew, okay?" (Name) said while poking her in the chest, "If you don't have transport, then just say so."

"Look, COG, your on your own." The woman said as she walked away, (Name) sneered at the woman from behind before she gave her the middle finger and ran it across her neck, "Get out while you can."

Another Stalk popped up and (Name) growled in annoyance, cracking her knuckles. She ignored what they where saying, glaring heavily at the Stalk; it looked like it leaned away out of fear but she wasn't sure. Sam tapped her shoulder to move on, (Name) snapped her eyes shut and just followed behind like she's suppost to with everyone else to the elevator. (Name) got on the side with Sam and Baird, the elevator jossled and (Name) squeaked some.

"You know, maybe we should have gone the back route after all." Baird said aloud, (Name) agreed silently. She stayed down and fired a few rounds before the elevator came to a stop, eyes going wide as she groaned and said something under her breath, "What was that, Rookie?"

Carmine looked over, "Well... Shit."

"Uh—anyone afraid of heights?" Cole question, (Name) raised her hands before Stalks popped up.

Baird looked back nerviously, "Uhhh... Not anymore. Love heights. I love 'em. Fuckin' love 'em."

"Can we JUST GO?!" (Name) hissed, catching a hook and whined. Everyone jumps and slides on, leaving (Name) behind, "...fuck."

The group landed, Cole did a count and stopped, "Wheres' (Name)-?!"

"Somebody catch me!" (Name) screeched, Baird looked back in time to have her land ontop of him and their faces near centimeters away from one another, "Oh, hello there Baird. Nice of you to catch me."

"Nice to be your couchin..." Baird joked, sitting up and rolled over so (Name) is on the bottom and covered up securely, "Now, let me deal with these annoying shits and I'll get back to you~"

Baird planted a kiss on (Name)'s cheeck, dealing with some glowies. The Gunker exploded, though not the reason why something is shaking the bridge as (Name) pushed herself up and she fell right into Baird's arms. He helped her stand upright and both ventured onwards, "Y'know, I'm more worried about the stability of this bridge than some trigger-happy Stranded."

"Yeah... This doesn't look good at all." Carmine interjected himself, "And why did you snap at the woman, (Name)?"

"If I said I'm on menopause, that would be a shitty excuse."

"Oh come on, will you? Get on with it! If we loose that ship, we loose everything we got!" Sam spoke up, "Including (Name)'s cereal..."

"Oh no! Not the cereal!" (Name) said with sarcasm, rolling her eyes, "I think I can survive with just the air..."

(Name) snuck a quick peak at Bairds' ass, "And a few good looks of that ass... Rawr~"

(Name) was brought out of her trance with a trip over something and grabbing the railing, pulling herself up and continuing onto her way without much trouble. She looked at the tall barrier, "Well, scaling is out of the picture. I had enough heights for one trip!"

"My unique charisma should do the trick." Baird boasted, "Isnt that right Carmine?"

"Uh, yeah, I'll have to lend you some of mine."

(Name)'s ears picked up on laughter and grunting, she looked over to the barracade to see movement within and instantly frowned. She shuffled onwards to catch up with everyone else. She ducked in time for gunfire and everyone got on the defensive, (Name) fired a few rounds and hit several Locus people.

"Locust shit-heads!" (Name) called out, how she could tell was beyond her reasoning and it could explain why she was in the top of her class though she didn't even try. She peaked back over and eyes went wide, "And they have turrets made our of the older lancers! Creative bastards..."

"Yeah, ontop of the barricades, too!" Carmine said aloud, (Name) thought for a minute before snipping the heck out of those Locust.

"Boom! Head shots!" (Name) cheered, ducking back down before she was snipped, "Someone pissed these guys off! Baird, Carmine, Cole say sorry for being such ungraceful host!"

"Yeah, charisma. Works every time!" Baird said, registering what (Name) playfully scolded him for, "I will eat you (Name)!"

"Now isn't the time to be trying out for kids, Baird~" (Name) cooed loudly, sending the blond hair man a wink as the man grinned. The last Grub was killed and (Name) came out of her spot, walking over to the door just to jump out of the way, "Oh come on! I don't need this now!"

The boomers where slaughtered with bullets, a few incendiary and frag grenades, and good ol' ass-kicking. She whooped in delight and jumped through the door. She looked around cautiously, venturing on and taking out the problems in her wake with experctiese. Baird fought the urge to pounce (Name) and kiss her senseless, but all shall be given in due time.

**::Some time later::**

"Son of a bitch..." (Name) gaped, just staring at the size of the Leviathan, "**THATS** a LEVIATHAN?!"

Cole looked over the edge, "Marcus, whoo, that's one big ugly motherfucker!"

"Cole, can you see this shit?"

"Baby, we got a grand stand view—we're crossing the bridge, right above the ship."

"Anway to kill this thing from where you are?"

(Name) jumped in on the coversation, "Sorry to jump in like this buuutttt, holy shit hi and we're going to need to blow bigger shit out it's glowing ass!"

"And before you can continue, me and the blond boy genious shall come up with a plan to do just that! Have fun shooting it's eyes out, mr. Marcus sir~!"

Cole just looked at (Name) like she was insane, "What? No one killed a Leviathan? If not, we're so-"

Baird cuts in, "No probelm—I've killed glowie Leviathans before, remember? At Vectes dockyard. Saved your asses."

"You killed one. A baby at that! And wrecked the harbor doing it. That one's twice the size!" Sam cuts in, (Name) facepalmed.

"So what's your plan? Nag it to death? Wait a minute—you actually could!"

"Ladies!" (Name) snapped, "And gentlement, pardon me, but if we don't move our asses right now, shit is going to go flying into the fan and splatter on the white sheets called OUR ONLY HOPE! NOW MOVE THE ASS BEFORE I LOOSE IT AND GO BESERK ON SOME UNFORTUNATE SOUL HERE ALIVE!"

Everyone noded and got into gear, the guns lost and (Name) banged her head on Sams' shoulder, "Fuck! Okay, grubs must have some ordanance here. We find it, me and Bairdy-all-Mighty can make it spark lovely fireworks of pure death~"

Everyone got onto the move, tickers fell down and came close before an idea clicked, "Got it-"

"Hey, that'll do the job. Find us some more tickers! Drop, splat, bang-"

"Woosh!"

"-End of story!"

Sam rolled her eyes, "Yeah—if they don't kill us first!"

"And here I though you where the half glass full type, Sam~"

"Shut up (Name)."

**::Some more time later::**

"Bombs away! And all that shit..." Baird said at the ticker case dropped below.

"Whoo-hoo!" (Name) cheered, too much in the mood to realize she pulled Baird into a lip-lock and techincally confessed her love to the blue-eyed blondy. Everybody, mostly Carmine and Sam, where shocked when Baird wrapped arms around her waist and kisses back. It was broken with a painful screeching from below and the bride cracking, everyone went sliding downwards.

"Oh shit man!" (Name) shouted over the commotion of screaming, gripping on for dear life, "If I don't make it, tell Baird he has one sexy piece of ass known to man! And that I friggin love him!"

"I can still hear you, (Name)!" Baird said, geing caught by Sam, "Uh, I suppose you want me to say I always loved you but I don't. I really, really don't!"

Baird continued, "I'm in love with another chick in this group! Sorry to break your heart, Sam!"

And then everyone slid off, the rest went up in an explosion with grub-on-glowie action and a slurry of both in a bizzare concoction...

* * *

_**A/N: *laughing* I-I just HAD to use Baird's famious quote he said to Sam! I found that HILLARIOUS!**_


End file.
